Wounds, Scars, and Rivals
by Lyssita Lennon
Summary: Old wounds are opened, scars formed, and new rivals who will threaten them all.* Sequel to: "Love, Loss, and Suprises", set sixteen years later. New characters will be introduced, Stephenie Meyer's characters will not appear.*
1. Prologue

_(A/N: It's finally here! The long awaited sequel to 'Love, Loss, and Suprises'- you must have really wanted this one, cause it won the poll. Before reading there are a few things you absolutely need to know:  
__1. This is set set sixteen years after the events of LLaS.  
2. Written in first person- in Melanie's pov. *She proves quite fun to write for. I love being in her head, lolz.  
3. You're going to hate the chapter update alerts. This is the Prologue and it's in the chapter 1 slot. That means when chapter 1 is actually posted it will read in your alerts as chapter 2, but in reality will only be 1.  
Other than that, enjoy!)  
_  
Prologue

I've heard almost all the stories from when I was young.

I was told the story of how my mother and father met; the story of how society became dangerous and to beware the "Silver Eyes" as me and my brother call them. Stories of my many "aunts" and "uncles" and how they all lived underground; that is, until the Silver Eyes found them. My mother always says they were all lucky enough to escape, but had all become separated; she doesn't even know where her own sister currently is.

But my favorite story is the one my parents don't tell too often.

The story of how my father himself was taken by the Silver Eyes and was trapped prisoner in his own mind. How my mother, dealing with his loss, found solace with a small beacon of hope: her pregnancy with me. And during that time a group of rebel humans also living in exile freed my father from his mental prison, only to imprison him themselves. A brave young man saw his sufferings and helped him return to my mother, who at the time had just given birth to me.

His tales of the underground cavers and hers of the subterranean military base captivated me. _Oh, how I long to remember those days! _But alas! I was only three when the Silver Eyes came; my brother a newly born baby. And even now, thirteen years later, I find myself wondering what my life would have been like if the Silver Eyes never came.

"Julian, you're home!" my mother drops the basket she's holding and rushes towards him; throwing her arms around his neck as he leans in to kiss her deeply.

My brother makes a gagging sound; our parents' break away from each other and laugh at his reddened face.

"One day, Christian, you'll be thinking the exact opposite of that," our mother teases.

"Yeah, sure I will." His reply is sarcastic and his voice still cracks, causing our parents' laughter again.

Our father whispers something to our mother and she nods in agreement, motioning towards me and my brother. And we know what this means: begin to bring in the supplies. The four of us go our separate ways; our mother resumes her task with the basket, our father towards the back of the cabin, and Christian and I out the door.

For a moment I pause, my eyes fixed on the forest. _Was that-_

"Mel, what are you doing?" Christian complains, "You're supposed to be helping me."

"Huh? Oh, nothing. I'm coming."

"What were you staring at?" he asks.

I bite my lip, "Thought I saw a… squirrel. But I guess it was just my imagination."

He simply shrugs and we return to unloading. But I'm sure of what I saw, and it was no squirrel. There was a man in those woods.

_(A/N: Tell me what you think and hit that review button! 5 reviews and I'll post chapter 1. Also, check your PM inboxes, reviewers- you'll no longer see personalized messages at the end of each chapter update.)_


	2. Chapter 1

_(A/N: Wow, 5 reviews already? Y'all must really want to know what happens. ;) And you shall! Many many thanks to my awesome reviewers- this one's for you!)  
_  
Chapter 1. And I Find We're Not Alone

I haven't told my parents about what I saw. The man in the woods didn't seem threatening and his eyes didn't give off a silver gleam in the moonlight. He was probably just passing through.

"Melanie?" my father's voice pulls me from my thoughts.

"Yes?"

"You've been so quiet," he looks at me concerned, "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," I smile, "I think I just need some fresh air; could I walk around outside for a bit?"

"Alright, but be careful and don't go too far." My smile grows wider; I can't believe he's actually letting me go!

"Thanks!" And I'm out the door.

The cool air feels heavenly against my skin and the stars shine brightly overhead. Wind blows gently through the leaves and through my light-blonde hair. _I feel free._

The cabin seems just a blur in the distance. _I should probably start heading back. _I turn to leave-

"Wait!"

I freeze; footsteps approaching me.

"Please, I won't hurt you." His voice is kind, but I still don't want to face him. _Is he the man I saw earlier? _

He sighs, "I'm not one of them, you _know _that." His footsteps become closer, voice softer, "Please, say something."

When I turn his arm is extended, hand reaching toward me. And I take it, but not in the way he expects.

His face is slammed against the side of a tree; his arm twisted behind his back and locked in my grip, the other dangling helplessly at his side.

"Who are you?" I snarl.

"If I tell you my name, will you let me go?" his voice is surprisingly calm.

"Possibly," I try and keep my voice fierce.

"Paul," he speaks with confidence, my grip loosens, "Paul McCartney. Now let me go, you said you would."

I slowly nod and remove my hands from his arm and back; my breath coming out in shallow gasps.

He turns and faces me, "I'm sorry I startled you and for the record I could have broken away at anytime." I suppress the urge to laugh. "Please, tell me your name."

"Melanie," my voice barely above a whisper, "How did you find this place?"

"I wasn't looking if that's what you're thinking. I live at the other end of these woods, about two miles in that direction," with his arms he points North, "It's just me, my dad, and a few of his friends. What about you?"

"Me, my parents, and my brother," I reply, "And I guess you already know where we live."

He laughs, "Yeah, I guess so. But I won't tell, I promise."

"Neither will I," I vow.

Paul smiles; his dark, crystal blue eyes send an involuntary shudder down my spine.

"I have to go now. Can I see you again tommorow?"

I think for a moment; I'm not sure I'll be allowed out again, then again my bedroom door locks and the window's pretty big…  
"Of course," I say without missing a beat, "I might be late though. I don't think I'll be able to get out as easily as I did tonight."

"Doesn't matter," he steps closer to me, taking my hand in his own, "Until tommorow, Melanie." His lips press to the back of my hand; my face grows hot, my heart beats faster…

And then he's gone. _I can't wait for tommorow._

_(A/N: Yes, I really did name him Paul McCartney; my inner Beatlemaniac is showing. Too bad Mel doesn't know about The Beatles... oh well!_  
_5 reviews will bring you chapter 2. That's my deal, y'all- 5 reviews equals new chapter._  
_And don't forget to check your PM inboxes, reviewers! My thanks to you all!)_


	3. Chapter 2

_(A/N: I'm very pleased with what you're all telling me in your reviews. So far, this has been my absolute favorite story to write; it makes me glad to know you're enjoying it as much as I am. As always thanks to those who've reviewed- you guys are the fuel that feeds the fire.  
We're starting to get into the actual storyline now, so keep a close eye on things!)  
_  
Chapter 2. Because It's All I've Ever Known

Paul and I have been meeting in the woods for the past three weeks now. Of course, I've had to sneak out most nights, but it's definitely worth it. _I can only hope I won't be caught._

"Melanie, it's time for dinner!"

"Coming!" I call and grab the book off my nightstand before leaving my room.

I take my usual seat across from my mother and next to my brother; he pinches my arm and I pinch his back- a game we've had going for quite some time- and my mother laughs. I've always wondered how she could still be so happy and cheerful after all that's happened- my father too. It's as if the cold shoulder of exiled life hasn't hardened their hearts or darkened their spirits, rather brightened their outlook and gave them strength; proving that everything I've ever read is true: love conquers all.

"Did you finish the book?" my father's voce pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Hmm?" I blink rapidly as I clear my crowded mind, "Oh, yes, I did."

"Did you like it?" he asks.

I nod vigorously, "Oh, yes. Do you have anything else?"

"You've read through every book I have," he smiles then pauses for a moment, "How about this: next time I go out, I'll try and pick you up something new to read."

"As long as it's reasonable," my mother chimes in, "I don't want you getting hurt."

My father whispers something to my mother and kisses her lightly on the lips; I don't know what he said, but whatever it was she sports a look of relief.

"Can I go out with dad on the next raid?"

All eyes turn to my brother; the color has completely drained from my mother's face, the look she bears is absolutely horrified. I kick Christian hard in the shin; he glares at me and is about to retaliate when our father finally speaks.

"Christian," he begins slowly, "You're too… young. Perhaps when you're older, maybe sixteen…"

"I'm sixteen!" I blurt without thinking.

He and my mother look at me as if I've just said something appalling and lurid, "Well, yes, but…"

"So could I go?" I know it's probably not the right time to ask, but when else would I get a chance like this?

My mother gives my father that 'we need to talk' look; an emotion in his eyes I've never seen before.

"No Melanie." He finally replies.

"But you just said-"

"I know what I said!" his voice is sharp, then softens, "But this isn't something that can be decided in an instant- there are risks involved. We're trying to keep you safe; you understand that, yes?"

"Mhmmm…" "Yeah…" Christian and I mumble together, shoulders slumped, eyes down- we've never been snapped at like that by our father.

We eat in awkward silence.  
...

As midnight approaches I prepare myself for my planned rendezvous in the woods. To hell with safety, no one even knows we're out here! Before I met Paul, we were alone in these woods. Maybe I'm being irrational, but right now I don't care. I collapse onto my bed; _why does life have to be so unfair? _

A knock at the door catches my attention, my mother steps inside wearing an apologetic smile. I turn away from her and she sighs.

"Melanie? Darling, we're trying to protect you; it's dangerous out there. It's bad enough your father has to go, and I've already lost him once; if it happened again, I don't know what I'd do… but I can't lose you or Christian either, and I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. I love you, Melanie. Goodnight."

I'm about to reply when I hear the door close; I look up and my mother's gone. "Damn," I mutter. Maybe I should try and catch her, apologize, or at least tell her I love her too, but I know it's useless- she's probably already in her room and my silent indifference is most likely making her cry.

I feel awful. If I hadn't promised Paul I'd meet him, I would just stay in bed; but a promise is a promise and I already feel guilty enough. With a sigh I pick myself up off my bed, open and ease through the window.  
...

"Mel, you'll never guess what Paisley did today… Mel? Are you even listening?" Paul's hand waves in front of my face, snapping me from my thought induced trance.

"I'm sorry; what were you saying?"

"Mel, are you okay? You seem so, I don't know, distant right now." His voice is genuinely concerned, I can't help but smile.

"We had some drama at dinner," I confess, "Christian said the wrong thing at the wrong time, I added to it, and we ended up getting snapped at by our dad- he's never snapped at us before. And to top it off, I think I might have made my mom cry."

"Oh, well, if it's any consolation my dad yells all the time- and not just at me," he states, "He's always after Tom because of his drinking, hell, I don't even know where he gets all that alcohol from. Then there's Paisley and she gets on everyone's nerves with her 'peace'n'love' speeches. And my dad totally hates Jeff for some reason. He's even yelled at Bruce."

"Wow," I gaze at him, my eyes wide, "Yet you turned out so nice."

Paul laughs, my heart skips a beat, "Yeah, thank my mom for that; I'm just glad I made you feel better."

"You did, thanks Paul." He has made me feel better, but not in the way he thinks.

"Anytime, Mel."

_(A/N: Review please? I'll give you a sneak preview of chapter 3! *5 reviews and I'll post it. The sooner you review, the sooner the chapter comes.)_


	4. Chapter 3

_(A/N: I know I said 5 reviews per chapter, but I don't think that's possible anymore. Reviewer number 5 is currently not speaking to me. That's drama I don't need. I always say the only good drama is that in a story- it can be controlled by the writer and deleted if disliked. Oh well... Enjoy this one you guys!)_

Chapter 3. Just When You Think Your Life Can't Get Any More Complicated

There is something wrong with my mother. I don't know what's bothering her, but I'm not the only one to notice; Christian glances nervously at her and our father seems utterly worried. Each of us tries to hide this, but just like several nights ago dinner is awkwardly silent with only a few dead-ended conversations.

"Mom, are you alright?" I ask her when it's just the two of us.

"Hmm?" she shakes her head as if to clear her thoughts, "Oh Melanie, yes, I'm fine."

_I wonder if she can hear how off she sounds?  
_"O-Okay…" I do my best to wave it off, but I just can't; something is seriously wrong here.

She offers me a weak smile before heading off towards the bedroom. For a moment I consider following her, but I decide against it- let my father deal with this, he's a lot better at it than I am, I'm sure.  
...

After a few hours, I'm pulled from the peace of my book. Screaming; I actually hear screaming, and it sounds like my mother's voice. I peek out my door and instantly wish I hadn't.

"I don't see why you're blaming me for this; speaking technically we're both at fault here." My father is completely calm, standing in the doorway of his and my mother's bedroom.

"What?!" my mother shrieks, tears in her eyes; he takes a step back, "Are you saying-"

"Anneliese, please I don't want to fight with you," he was pleading now.

'Well, it's too late for that!" And she slams the door, probably locking him out of their room.

I don't watch anymore- I can't watch anymore. I can feel my hands trembling; my knees weak and threatening to give out; my breath coming out in shallow shaky gasps. _What just happened? _It takes me a few minutes to realize I'm actually crying, tears pouring freely down my face.

What did he say that upset her to the point of screaming? What had she said first? Could it be…? I shake my head; no- no, I don't want to think about _that._I need to find Paul; maybe he'll know what to do.

"Mel?" Christian stumbles through my door, landing on his knees.

"Christian…" I can hear it in my own voice as well- the sobs threatening to break free. We stare at each other for a moment before falling into each others' arms; blubbering like babies after witnessing one of the worst things we could possibly see. I don't think I've cried this loud or hard before, let alone crying in my younger brother's arms; his increase in intensity.

"Christian," I sniff, "It-it's going to be o-okay, you'll see. I don't think it was too big of a fight; they'll work things out. You know how mom is- she can hardly sleep when she's alone-"

"Mel, dad's sleeping on the couch."

"What? How long have we been in here?" I ask; I mean, too much time couldn't have passed, right?

He takes a deep breath to calm himself, "I don't know, it feels like a short time, but probably not. I waited two hours after the fight before coming to you, Mel."

_Two hours?! _There's no way it could have been that long. Then again, things weren't all too clear when I closed my door…

He pulls me to my feet and we quietly sneak down the hall. And sure enough he was correct; our father looks pretty uncomfortable on that small piece of furniture.

"See, Mel?" Christian continues in a soft voice, "D o you really think it wasn't a big fight?"

"I don't know anymore," I whisper.

We stand in silence.

"Maybe we should be getting to bed now," I suggest, "It's been a long night."

"Yeah, it has." He agrees. I offer him one last embrace, "Night Mel."

"Goodnight Christian."

We go our separate ways.  
...

But I can't sleep. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't calm my restless mind- hopefully the fresh air (and Paul) will help.

Tonight there's no moon, no breeze running through the trees- even the stars seem to glow dimmer than usual. I can feel the tears pooling in my eyes again.

"An ominous night, eh Mel?"

And I can't hold it in any longer. I rush forward, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my face in his shirt; hands fisting around the fabric of his shirt.

"Oh, Mel…" he sighs and begins to gently rub my back, "What's wrong? What happened?"

"My parents!" I choke out, "They got into this huge fight and… I've never seen them fight before and… I'm scared, Paul. I've never been this scared in my life!"

His hand strokes my cheek, "Shh, don't cry, Mel; everything will be alright, you just have to trust that."

A small part of me wants to hit him, "How do you know?"

"Because my parents used to fight all the time," he says, "And I know what you're thinking; that my parents weren't like yours, and that's true. But no matter how angry they were with each other, no matter how loud they screamed… they still loved each other. And I can guarantee that is the same with your parents. Just give them some time to cool down first."

_Whoa… I've got to tell Christian that. _"Paul, that's… wow…" I can feel my body growing limp, eyes closing; a yawn escapes my lips. I'm exhausted.

"Mel?"

The last thing I remember is the deep, crystal blue of Paul's eyes.

_(A/N: Thoughts? Why not leave a nice little review for me? 4 of them and I'll work ASAP to get on the home computer and post the next chapter.  
Also, I don't know about any of you, but I'm pumped for Christmas right now. Lady Antebellum's new album 'On This Winter's Night' comes out the 22nd and when I logged into Facebook, they have the whole album up for listening on the Internet! Fanfiction won't let me post the link here, so if you want it tell me. I'd be glad to send it to you.)_


	5. Chapter 4

_(A/N: I'm posting this while in school. Convienent that my first class of the day is Keyboarding, yes? Filler classes are always awful, lolz. Enjoy this! So far, this has been my favorite chapter to write.)_

Chapter 4. Just A Kiss On Your Lips in the Moonlight

Paul had been right after all. It had taken a few days, but nevertheless, he was right.

I had just been coming back from being in the woods (where I wasn't supposed to be) and had snuck into the kitchen for a drink…

_It's late- too late actually. I should have told Paul I had to leave sooner, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I love having someone new to talk to-_

_"I thought you'd be in bed by now."_

_Uh-oh. Busted._

_"I couldn't sleep." My mother's voice replies. I'm in the clear! Maybe I should head to my room, but I can't resist listening; I really hope they don't fight again…_  
_"Can we talk?"_

_"Sure," I can hear the strain in my father's voice as he pats the seat beside him._

_And the minute she sits down, she throws her arms around his neck; I can hear her crying. "I'm so sorry!" she manages to choke out, "About everything, I never meant-"_

_"Anneliese," his hand cups under her chin, pulling her face up, "It's alright. I was never truly angry at you- just really hurt."_

_She sniffed, "But you were trying to help and I started screaming at you."_

_"I know how stressful this is on you; stress can drive even the mildest people mad- trust me." He smiled, "I simply can't find it in myself to blame you for anything-"_

_She cuts him off, pressing her lips to his._

_Yes! I practically run to my room. They're not fighting anymore! The last thing I hear is my father asking if it's alright to sleep in their bedroom again._

After that everything went back to normal. Well, not _everything…_

My mother was acting… different- I hope that's the right word to use. I think she might be sick; she throws up almost every morning now and just the smell of certain foods make her sick- even things she loves. I hope whatever it is will pass soon, I don't like seeing her so miserable. It's taking a toll on all of us, my father especially. He doesn't want to leave tommorow night, but he has to; we're completely out of some things which means he'll be gone even longer than usual. But that also means he might bring Christian and me back a surprise!

But enough of that, it's normal and I'm used to it. I'm suddenly not used to Paul anymore. Something about the way I see him has changed- I've even dreamt about him!

The dream is always the same. We're in the woods, in our usual spot, talking like we always do. Then he steps closer, placing one hand on my waist and the other on my cheek; he pulls me to him, our bodies almost touching. The hand on my face slowly slides down, cupping under my chin. His crystal blue eyes stare into mine as he leans in. And we kiss.

My heart pounds just thinking about it. Goodness, what's wrong with me? Love would be the answer my books give, but that's nonsense! _I am __not__ in love with Paul.  
_…

"So Mel, whatcha been up to?" Paul smiles, my cheeks flush, "You haven't come to see me in a while."

"Well, things are pretty busy right now. My dad's going out tommorow and we have to help prepare," I say.

"I see…" he seems lost for a moment.

_That reminds me…_"Paul, I almost forgot! I can't stay very long."

"Why?"

"My parents said they have something important to tell us," I hope he doesn't think I'm lying, "I don't know what it is, but-"

His mouth is abruptly on mine, following the patterns of the words still trying to form. He leans closer, I don't dare move; I've never been kissed before and I'm not about to mess it up by accidentally doing something I shouldn't. His lips are warm and soft- I like the way they feel against mine. My eyes close, hands on each side of his face; his catch my waist, slowly pulling me to him…

He suddenly breaks away and looks at me as if he's done something unspeakably horrible. And he runs away, leaving me so confused. _I can't believe he kissed me… Paul actually kissed me… _

Even now, hours later, that is still the one thing that runs through my mind. I can't even focus on my brother, and he's sitting right beside me! Our parents sit across from us, father the first to speak.

"Melanie, Christian, there's something very important we have to tell you…"  
And that's all I hear before my concentration is once again lost. _I still can't believe that Paul actually kissed me…_

_(A/N: Props if you know what's "wrong" with Anneliese. Reviews help Mel with her confusion and feed Paul's shame and embarrassment.)_


	6. Chapter 5

_(A/N: Updating in school again! This will be the last of those though, my computer class ends Thursday. I'm working on the next chapter, but don't expect a speedy update- I have final exams this week and the teachers are loading us up with review. It sucks. A lot.)_

Chapter 5. Does Anyone Care What I Think?

Approximately two weeks have passes since my father left on yet another supply run. As always, he promised to be back soon and did not spare mine and Christian's eyes from the goodbye kiss shared with our mother.

But there was something different to this kiss. Usually such affection is not flaunted around us; Christian thinks nothing of it- he detests even the most miniscule of romantic gestures between our parents. I don't remember being so immature at thirteen.

In these two weeks my mother's strange ailment has, for the most part, subsided. She still doesn't feel good in the mornings- throws up sometimes too- but other than that she's back to her cheerful self. Well, as cheerful as she can be with my father gone.

I haven't seen Paul at all during this time. Not since the night we kissed. I'm still trying to make sense of it. Why would he kiss me and run off like that? A feeling of rejection washes through me; sometimes I wish he was like the men in my books. Perfectly sculpted and scripted so it's inevitable to fall in love with them…

But that's not at all realistic.

Maybe tonight will be different. Maybe I'll get to that small clearing (does it count as a clearing if there are a few trees missing from the forest?) and he'll be waiting there like nothing happened. I make sure my door is locked before easing out my window; weaving through the trees with the wind blowing my hair in all directions. I can't help but laugh- _it's so beautiful out here._

My amusement is not shared, met with the whisper of the leaves rustling on the trees. Again there's that feeling of rejection. "Are you even out here, Paul?"

No answer.

"If you were, would you answer me?"

Silence.

"It's because of the kiss, isn't it?" Are you done talking to me now?"

Tears begin to pool in my eyes. _No. I'm stronger than that. Deep breaths._ My time in the woods is cut short when I turn and see two brilliant beams of light shining in the direction of the cabin. _Are those headlights? Dad must be home early…!_ I race forward in an attempt to get inside before anyone can notice I'm gone. When I throw one last glance over my shoulder, I swear something moved.  
…

Unloading takes us about a half hour.

I find it unusual about how early my father's returned. Normally when things get really low (a rare occasion) he'd be gone for several weeks at a time, sometimes longer. I know I should be thrilled that he's back; it's just that something doesn't feel right about this. Maybe I'm just paranoid…

I don't convey my suspicions during out late-night treats. Why mar the joyful ambiance and sweet taste of chocolate (an even rarer occurrence) because I feel a little off? More exciting than the saccharine delicacy is the "new" book tucked carefully in my lap. The cover is an old paperback, so torn and tattered I can barely make out the intended design.

An earthy brown poses as the main color, not a pleasant choice in my opinion, but it helps the rest to stand out. Centered there stands a lone light bulb that almost seems to be glowing; in the middle of the bulb is a single word: _ember_, written in a script style of rounded, connected letters. Cursive is what my mother called it when she noticed I was having trouble reading it- most of the letters don't even look how they're supposed to!

I'm more than thankful for this new distraction. I need something to focus on other than my lost friendship.

_(A/N: Reviews help Mel know that someone does care what she thinks. Lolz. They help give Paul courage as well.)_


	7. Chapter 6

_(A/N: You're going to hate me. It's filler chapter time! Or 'passage of time' chapter time. A bit of forshadowing though.  
A disclaimer: The following excerpts belong to Jeanne DuPrau, author of 'The City of Ember'. I do not own them, just the girl reading them. It's a book I highly reccommend, despite the lack of romance. And just to be clear: I do not own 'The City of Ember', I do own Paul and his gang of rebels; Melanie and Christian, but not thier parents- sadly Mattel Entertainment owns them.  
That said, and enjoy!)_

Chapter 6. The House That Built Me

"_They have spent years and years making this plan. It's supposed to ensure that, no matter what happens, people won't disappear from the earth. Some say that will never happen anyhow. I'm not so sure. Disaster seems very close. Everything will be all right, they tell us, but only a few believe them. Why, if it's going to be alright, do we see it getting worse every day?_

_And of course this plan is proof that they think the world is doomed. All scientists and engineers have been pulled in to work on it. Extraordinary efforts have been made- efforts that would have done more good elsewhere…"_

This is what our cabin is. A sanctuary for the precious few remnants of the human race. Only our world didn't end with disaster; our world was assimilated in peace by unseen invaders. To be erased from existence; body and mind controlled by the parasites they were forced to host.

Our cabin is one of those forgotten strongholds that keep us from dying out. And somewhere through those woods lives another band of "rebels".

Even though I don't say his name, I can still feel a slight twinge of pain surprisingly close to my heart. _Foolish, _I tell myself, '_How could I have been so foolish?'_ It's been almost a month since I've seen him- almost a month since our kiss. I still taste his lips in my dreams, still see the look of shock in those wonderful blue eyes, and still stand there confused and light-headed.

And no matter how hard I try, I can't change it.

…

"_He landed on his bottom with his legs poking up in the air. Lina laughed. She shouldn't have; he might have been hurt. But he looked so funny she couldn't help it._

_He wasn't hurt. He could have jumped up, grinned, and walked away. But Doon didn't take things lightly. When he heard Lina and the others laughing, his face darkened. His temper rose in him like hot water. "Don't you dare laugh at me," he said to Lina, "I did better than you did! That was a stupid idea anyway, a stupid, stupid idea to climb that pole…" And as he was shouting, red in the face, their teacher, Mrs. Polster, came out onto the steps and saw him. She took him by the shirt collar to the school director's office, where he got a scolding he didn't think he deserved._

_After that day, Lina and Doon barely looked at each other when they passed in the hallway…"_

_I guess I'm not the only one with that problem. _I close the book and set it down on my bed. Now that my mother has given the call for dinner I won't be able to read anymore, not now at least. I keep myself composed, force a delighted façade; if questioned I would be in serious trouble, my biggest secret exposed. Even if Paul has gone back on his promise, I won't go back on mine. A promise is a deal made for life- that's what my parents taught me.

Dinner is uneventful. Other than the chatter of the upcoming winter, we're unusually silent. My stomach knots, I know what's coming after. I guess coming back early means going out again two weeks later. Something about all this rush makes me uneasy, makes me feel like I'm missing a vital piece of information. A piece of information my parents expect me to know. On the one hand, I could ask, but then I might seem irresponsible for not listening when I was supposed to.

I don't like this one bit.

…

"_A few feet beyond their shoes was a sheer, dizzying drop. They looked out into a cave so enormous that it seemed almost as big as the world outside. Far down at the bottom shone a cluster of lights._

"_It's Ember," Lina whispered._

_They could see the tiny bright streets crossing each other, and the squares, the little chips of light, and the dark tops of buildings. Just beyond the edges was the immense darkness._

"_Oh, our city, Doon. Our city is at the bottom of a hole!" She gazed down through the gulf, and all of what she had believed about the world began to slowly break apart. "We were underground," she said. "Not just the Pipeworks. Everything!" She could hardly make sense of what she was saying._

_Doon crouched on his hands and knees, looking over the edge. He squinted, trying to see the minute specks that might be people. "What's happening there, I wonder?"_

"_Could they hear us if we shouted?"_

"_I don't think so. We're much too far up."_

"_Maybe if they looked into the sky they'd see our candle," Lina said. "But no, I guess they wouldn't. The streetlamps are too bright."_

"_Somehow, we have to get word to them," said Doon, and that was when the idea came to Lina._

"_Our message!" she cried. "We could send our message!"_

_And they did. From her pocket, Lina took the message Doon had written, the one that was supposed to have gone to Clary, explaining everything…_

_They wrapped the message in Doon's shirt and put a rock inside it. Then they stood in a row at the edge of the chasm, Doon in the middle holding Poppy's hand and Lina's. Lina took aim at the heart of the city, far beneath her feet. With all her strength, she cast the message down into the darkness, and they watched as it plunged down._

_Mrs. Murdo, walking even more briskly that usual to keep her spirits up, was crossing Harken Square when something fell to the pavement just in front of her with a terrific thump. How extraordinary, she though, beginning to pick it up. It was a sort of bundle. She began to untie it."_

_What a cheesy ending._ I suppose everything can't end the way I'd like it to though.

I shouldn't be complaining- I've heard the stories and some people have it much worse than I do. My mother said when the invasion first began her and my father had taken refuge in a cave (along with her sister and sister's husband.) So, things could be worse.

As the night grows darker I decide not to go into the woods. Today was exhausting enough and the last thing I need is the crushing weight of rejection.

_(A/N: I'm wondering if the chapter title even fits. Tell me what you think, and/or suggestions on what I could change it to. And give me your thoughts on this chapter. The next one's got a decent start to it.)_


	8. Chapter 7

_(A/N: Update 4 out of 4! I feel very proud of myself right now. Enjoy this.)  
_  
Chapter 7. Our Kind of Love

The weeks continue to roll by- some passing in a blur of days that run together and some seem never ending. I've read through my book several times now, details stamped into my head, favorite passages memorized, but it no longer captures me like it had the first time. Sometimes this life is unbearable.

I've lost track of the time it's been since I last seen Paul. Has to be over a month at least. (I guess it's good that keeping the calendar isn't my job.) Have I actually been going into the woods? No. I haven't gone since the night my father came home from a very short raid. That seems to be the pattern of his supply runs now; abrupt, quick, and frequent. Almost like he's distracted by something. Besides, it's too cold to go traipsing around outside every night. My mother says it could snow any day now, and judging by the way she's been saying it, I think she'd prefer it didn't snow until my father made it back from his latest trip.

That should have been enough of a warning to keep me from going out tonight. But I just have to. I have to know if all this regret is worth it. If I don't see Paul tonight, I'm done.

My jacket isn't very thick; it's old, worn, and frayed at the ends, but it's all I've got and I'm thankful for it. I can see my breath each time I expel air from my lungs and draw it back in so icy I'm afraid it might freeze my throat. _I hate winter. _When I get to our usual spot my heart sinks. The clearing is void of any signs of life. Birds are tucked into their nests, squirrels nestled deep into the evergreen trees, even the moon is hidden behind thick, dark clouds. Now or never. "Paul, are you out there?"

My only reply is that of the wind.

Thoroughly wounded and with fresh tears stinging my eyes, I turn on my heels to leave.

"Mel, wait!"

I pause in my tracks, wipe away the tears, and prepare to face him with confidence; my hand flies to my mouth in attempt to stifle my gasp.

He lets out a deep, rumbling cough before smiling sheepishly. "I've been sick. Can you tell?"

_Can I tell?_ He's thinner than I remember- paler too. Even his eyes don't shine the way they used to. "You look awful."

"Thanks." He murmurs, eyes down. "Mel, I-" he's interrupted by a violent fit of coughing and I instantly regret every ill thought and accusation I've made against him. I want to rush forward and throw my arms around him, but he motions for me to stay away. _When did I become so melodramatic?_

His coughing subsides and Paul looks down again, taking a deep breath. "Mel, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. For being a coward and hiding when you came, for hurting you, for the kiss..."

"I'm not sorry about that."

His head snaps up. "What?"

My confidence is gone. Nothing could have prepared me for this moment. Part of me wishes I'd kept my mouth shut. "I-I'm not sorry that you kissed me." I can feel my palms sweating, my face hot; the cold no longer matters to me- I'm on fire. I force myself to go on. "You see, I, uh… I like you. I mean, of course I like you, I just… _like_ you. A lot. A lot more than I should actually…" I let my voice trail off. It was bad enough having admitted this much.

I guess developing feelings for friends must run in my family.

"Mel, I really like you." Paul admits. "A lot more than you like me."

"Really?" My heart beats faster.

He scratches at the back of his neck, "Y-Yeah. That's why I was so worried, you know. I thought I'd upset you when… when I kissed you. That's part of the reason I ran off. I was embarrassed and confused and-" he throws his head back laughing and coughing at the same time. "I guess I'm no good at romance, eh?"

"Nope," I giggle, "But neither am I."

He steps towards me, taking my hands in his own. "I truly am sorry, Melanie. I never meant to hurt you." His voice is soft; he looks at me with the eyes of a puppy that has just been punished.

"Just kiss me." It's all I can think about at the moment.

"Mel, I don't want to get you si-" Too late for that. His lips are against mine; my hands still fisted around his collar from yanking him down to meet them. He's hesitant at first, but soon gives in and returns the kiss with the same urgency as before. If I do get sick, it will definitely be worth it.

By the time we break apart my head is spinning more from the rush of emotions than the lack of oxygen. I can't imagine a better feeling in the entire world.

Paul smiles, "Your nose is all red."

"Yours too." I say tapping my finger lightly against the tip of his cherry red nose.

"It's the cold. We should go inside," he suggested taking note of the frigid air swirling around us. Snowflakes begin falling at a rapid pace. "C'mon Mel, I'll walk you back. Don't want to be stuck out here all alone in a blizzard, now do we?"

We share one more kiss before I close my bedroom window and he starts off into the snow (which is pouring down at this point.) And although I do get a little sick, it's definitely worth it.

_(A/N: So, what do you think? Why not tell me? It's right down there. Below this line right here.)_


	9. Chapter 8

_(A/N: Update! It's been ages, hasn't it? School has been insane lately. Finals are coming up, graduation (which I'm required to perform at as a member of the choir. I graduate next year.) Plus my laptop died again, so I'm really backed up with things that need typing. :P Enjoy this y'all.)_

Chapter 8. What I Just Realized

In all sixteen years of my existence, I don't think I've ever seen my father gone so much. Every other week it's the same routine: one day to prepare, fourteen days out, n days to rest, and the cycle starts over again. If he's even an hour late my mother is frantic. I asked Paul if his mother was the same.

"_She made herself sick from worrying too much," he says. "And that was before my dad even left. She was even worse when he announced I was going with him."_

_I giggle a bit. "She sounds wonderful."_

"_She was." His smile becomes sad._

"_You must miss her," I whisper placing a hand on his shoulder._

_He sighs and wraps his arms around my waist. "More than I can say, Mel." He nuzzles his face against my shoulder. We're nearly matched in height._

"_I'm sorry," I start rubbing his back. It's the best comfort I've got. I didn't mean to upset him._

"'_S okay," he mumbles. "Not your fault."_

_We stay like this for several minutes._

_He suddenly breaks away. "Sorry about that. I just…" he stares at the ground, "I just really needed that."_

"_No problem."_

"_You really are one of a kind, Mel." His smile is back. His hand strokes my cheek then comes to rest under my chin. He's going to kiss me. My eyes close, my lips part. He's only inches away. I can feel his breath on my lips-_

I'm shaken back into reality be the feeling of a hand on my shoulder and the sound of my name being said.

"Melanie, it's time to say goodbye."

I blink in surprise. No, that can't be right. It hasn't even been a week! I glance out the window. The preparations have been made. Snow's been brushed off the car and shoveled off the path. (Although at the rate it's currently falling, everything will be buried again within minutes.) My father stands parallel to my mother and perpendicular to me, his jacket zipped up to the neck, tight-fitting gloves encase his hands. _He's actually leaving. _I find myself in his embrace. "Be good," he whispers pressing a kiss to my forehead. I nod, even though I have no idea why he would say this. I'm always good.

Out of the corner of my eye I see something that makes my blood boil.

Christian wearing his thickest coat.

I can't believe it! _He_ gets to go?! "What the hell?" I blurt without realizing it. "Why does he get to go?"

My father gasps. "Melanie! Where did you learn to speak that way?"

"A book." I lie. Paul has a habit of cursing when he's angry. And lately, he's been pretty fired up. "Why is Christian going? I'm older-"

"Yes, but we decided-"

"It's not fair!"

"I understand why you feel like that, but-"

"I'm sixteen! You said-"

"I know what I said!" my father shouts. I'm silent. His voice quiets. "I know what I said. Your mother and I talked about it and we decided that you would be more help to her here than you would me."

Every cruel word I'd thought of dies on my tongue when I turn to face her. Now that I'm really paying attention, it all makes sense! The frequency of the trips, the length of time he spends out, the reason we have so much in storage.

My mother is going to have a baby.

Any remaining anger I have fizzles out. I step forward and wrap my arms around her (although it's a stretch, I manage to do it), burying my face in the crook of her neck. I feel like a little girl again. My mother is having a baby. That's why my father's been gone so much. He wants to be here as long as he possibly can when the baby comes.

I can feel everyone's eyes on me from my sudden change of heart. "I'm sorry for yelling."

"I'm sorry too, angel," my father says. "Perhaps next time you can come."

I nod and find myself enveloped in an enormous hug. The four of us stay like this for several minutes.

"You'll be okay here?" my father asks, concern drips from every syllable that passes his lips.

My mother smiles, but there's worry in her voice too. "Of course. You'll be careful too, right?"

"As always." They share a quick kiss and unwillingly part ways. My mother and I keep our embrace. With Christian going this moment feels so different, like when I was old enough to know exactly what happened when my father had to go. I don't like it one bit. Like ghosts, they disappear through the trees.

_(A/N: Review please? It's so much easier to do now.)_


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